Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
Theres a note on my antibiotics that says "Do not chew or crush. Swallow whole." I think that would be a good tattoo for just above my penis.
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
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