Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
Randomize