dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
Randomize
