listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
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