I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
I still have a little drunk in my system
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
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