I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Randomize
