Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
Randomize