wrigley field is MILF paradise
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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