so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
