i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
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