dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
babies were throwing up all over the place
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
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