I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
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