Your mouth is God's brothel.
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
