i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
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