I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
Randomize
