i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
