I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Randomize
