You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
did you just send me my own nude
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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