Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
Im just a social blackout drinker.
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
Randomize