dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
Randomize
