last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
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