I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
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