His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
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