What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
wow bdsm is so cute
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Randomize
