did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
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