Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
