everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
