I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize
