Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
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