I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
What a dumb baby whore.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
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