you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
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