"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
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