If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
Randomize
