So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
Randomize
