I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
Randomize
