rhymes with "ouble enetration"
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
Randomize
