you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
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