I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
Randomize
