I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize
