Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
Randomize
