Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
Randomize
