So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
Randomize
