3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Randomize
