Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
Randomize
