Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
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