so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
Randomize