ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
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