I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
Randomize
