You made me cry and you don't even care
Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
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