Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
The Internet Is Obsessed With This Stripper Who Dropped It Low Just To Eat A Slice Of Pizza
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
Randomize
