Texts From Last Night

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  (586): View more from Michigan

  I'm not a real person

  (586): View more from Michigan

  I'm sorry, everyone knows that

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  (586): I'm not a real person (586): I'm sorry, everyone knows that http://tfl.nu/uvd5
  Replies (4) Good night (1073) Bad night (1101)
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  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared

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  (202): I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared http://tfl.nu/a5x9
  Replies (29) Good night (1214) Bad night (1591)
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  (713): View more from Texas

  maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..

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  (713): maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all.. http://tfl.nu/ph0g
  Replies (9) Good night (760) Bad night (3264)
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  (416): View more from Ontario

  is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??

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  (416): is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered?? http://tfl.nu/9big
  Replies (26) Good night (5439) Bad night (832)
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  (916): View more from California

  rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war

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  (916): rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war http://tfl.nu/t68o
  Replies (32) Good night (1114) Bad night (6762)
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  (304): View more from West Virginia

  Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.

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  (304): Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record. http://tfl.nu/wo6o
  Replies (17) Good night (1266) Bad night (5798)
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  (443): View more from Maryland

  There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.

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  (443): There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees. http://tfl.nu/9alk
  Replies (42) Good night (1921) Bad night (6748)
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  (419): View more from Ohio

  i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me

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  (419): i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me http://tfl.nu/hyzr
  Replies (18) Good night (6496) Bad night (1458)
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  (317): View more from Indiana

  Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls

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  (317): Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls http://tfl.nu/a8qz
  Replies (60) Good night (1569) Bad night (6859)
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  (212): View more from New York

  Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.

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  (212): Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many. http://tfl.nu/dbug
  Replies (25) Good night (1554) Bad night (3681)
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  (917): View more from New York City

  i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.

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  (917): i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing. http://tfl.nu/nkz8
  Replies (10) Good night (1184) Bad night (3284)
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  (775): View more from Nevada

  I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.

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  (775): I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot. http://tfl.nu/46g7
  Replies (3) Good night (588) Bad night (391)
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  (330): View more from Ohio

  All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.

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  (330): All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy. http://tfl.nu/2g6m
  Replies (4) Good night (941) Bad night (396)
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  (580): View more from Oklahoma

  I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick

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  (580): I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick http://tfl.nu/yhj9
  Replies (1) Good night (408) Bad night (912)
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  (803): View more from South Carolina

  That's a really terrible idea.

  (734): View more from Michigan

  Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input

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  (803): That's a really terrible idea. (734): Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input http://tfl.nu/jp2c
  Replies (1) Good night (468) Bad night (137)

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