you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
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