K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.