she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
No I am not eating basil off your cock
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
