How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
Randomize
