Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
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i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
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My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
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