are you so shy because you have an std?
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
