Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Randomize
