ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
Randomize
