just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
Randomize
