made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
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