she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
Randomize
