Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
