Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
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