I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
Randomize
