Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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