I wish I could teleport
their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
Randomize
